The Most Expensive Birthday Gift
It was my partner Aliyah's birthday. I took her to a lovely rooftop restaurant. The food was wonderful. The view was even better. We lingered over dessert, talking about nothing in particular, the kind of conversation you don't remember, except that you remember how it felt. Then I asked her the question I had asked people on birthdays for as long as I can remember: “What birthday gift can I get you?” She looked at me. Not casually. There was a little pause, almost as if she was deciding whether I was serious. Then she smiled. “Your time.” I have to admit, it threw me. Growing up, when someone asked me what I wanted, I knew exactly what to say. A toy. A book. Money. A baseball bat. Something you could put in a box, wrap in paper and hand over. But nobody had ever asked me for something I couldn't buy. So I gave her one of those sheepish smiles men sometimes give when they don't quite know what to say. And we moved on. Except I didn't really move on. The question followed me home. Why would she ask for time? Wasn't I already giving her enough? Were the gifts I had bought her not good enough? What exactly was she asking for? Eventually, I asked her. Her answer was remarkably simple. She said, in her own way: “I love you so much that I can't get enough of you. I already have enough of everything else. So naturally, I asked for more of what I want.” That stopped me. Because suddenly, her request didn't sound expensive. It sounded like a privilege. Someone was telling me that, among all the things I could possibly give them, more of me was what they wanted most. How fortunate can a person get? We rarely think of time as a gift. We think of gifts as things. Something we purchase. Something we wrap. And give. But time is different. When you give someone an hour, you aren't really giving them an hour. You are giving them a piece of your life that you will never get back. Money can be earned again. Things can be replaced. But that Wednesday evening will never come again. We spend enormous amounts of energy acquiring things that can be replaced... while sometimes being stingy with the one thing that cannot. And if you have someone like that in your life, you may possess something far more valuable than you realize. Love. Which says, “I want more of you in my life.” There are few things a human being can hear that are more reassuring. Because perhaps, in the end, love isn't measured by how much we are willing to spend on someone. Perhaps it is measured by something much harder to give. If you could have one more hour with anyone you love, without changing anything, fixing anything, or asking for anything ,who would you spend it with? Always, Bob
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