The Currency Of Being Wanted
I was meeting an old friend, Shawn, at his golf club recently. We were sitting at the bar, the place golfers apparently call the “watering hole”, when something caught my attention. Almost everyone who walked past seemed to know Shawn. “Shawn, when are we playing again?” “Shawn, let me know when you're free.” “Shawn, we've got to get another game in.” I looked at him, slightly puzzled. Shawn was a nice guy. I knew that. But this many people wanting to spend time with him? What was I missing? Apparently, I wasn't very good at hiding the question on my face. Shawn smiled. “Bob, by now everybody knows something about me. I always try to make the person I'm partnering with better off because I'm there.” I thought about that. Then he added something even simpler: “Everybody loves a giver much more than a taker.” That stayed with me. Think about the people you naturally want around you. The colleague who makes your work a little easier. The friend who remembers what you told them three months ago. The brother who shows up before you have to ask. The person who introduces you to someone who could help you. The manager who makes you feel more capable rather than less. The partner who isn't keeping score. None of them necessarily do spectacular things. They simply have a habit of leaving people with something they didn't have before. Maybe that's what being a giver really means. Not constantly giving money. Not always saying yes. Not becoming the person everyone takes advantage of. It can be much smaller. Leave people a little better than you found them. And interestingly, this isn't just good for our personal lives. The same principle quietly shapes professional relationships. People want to work with people they can trust. People who share credit. People who solve problems instead of merely pointing them out. People who make the team stronger. People who ask, “How can I help?” before asking, “What's in it for me?” We often spend a great deal of time trying to become impressive. Perhaps a better ambition is to become valuable to the people around us. Shawn reminded me of something I had somehow forgotten. The people who are most wanted aren't always the most successful, the funniest, the smartest or the most accomplished. Sometimes they're simply the people who make you feel that life is a little easier, warmer or more enjoyable when they're around. That afternoon, I made myself a small promise. To become a little more of a giver. Not only because I expect something back. But because I suspect that is one of the better ways to live. Who is the person you always want around, who makes you feel that way? Until tomorrow, Bob.
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