The Woman Behind the Man
Today is Wife Appreciation Day. And it seems like a good day to go deeper and ask: What, exactly, are we appreciating? Is the appreciation for the transactional stuff? For the cooking? Laundry? For remembering the appointments, maybe? Or is it for running the house hold, and for all the little things that somehow gets done? Of course, all these things matter. Yet they may only be the visible part of the story. Because there is another kind of contribution a wife can make to a man's life, one that is much harder to list on a thank-you card: The person he becomes because she is in his life. Most women seem to understand something without needing it explained. She knows when to push. When to step back. When a little more courage is needed. And, understand that sometimes, all that is needed is simply a place where a man can put down the weight of the day. She can create something that is difficult to measure but easy to feel, An environment in which a man can be completely himself and, somehow, become more of himself at the same time. There is freedom in that. The freedom to try & fail. To change one's mind, or dream a little bigger. Freedom of coming home after a difficult day without having to defend every battle fought outside the house. And most importantly, maybe the freedom to become the person one might not have had the courage to become alone. That may be one of the quiet mysteries of a good marriage. Sometimes the person who helps us reach our potential isn't the person standing in front of us cheering the loudest. It is the person who knows us well enough to understand when to stand beside us, when to stand behind us, and when to simply let us find our own way. It could be that, what makes a wife's influence so extraordinary. You may remember the meals she cook, the holidays, errands she run. The million small things she has done over the years. Still years later, you may discover that her greatest gift was something much less visible: The good fortune of becoming the man you became while being loved by her. So today, on Wife Appreciation Day, perhaps the deepest appreciation isn't for everything she has done, **it is for everything her presence has *made possible.*** For the confidence that grew. For the risks that were taken. For the dreams that became real. For the parts of you that became stronger, softer, wiser, or simply more completely you. If the woman beside you has helped you become the man you once hoped you could be, have you ever told her that why she is part of the reason? Until tomorrow, Bob
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