When You Love Someone…
Yesterday, my gym instructor Chris walked in after being away for almost three weeks. He was tanned, but glowing, and he was smiling in that particular way people smile something good has happened to them. So I asked him. “Where have you been?” He told me: “Janet and I went to the Maldives. We renewed our vows.” Those four words — we renewed our vows — stayed with me. Chris and Janet have been married for 17 years. At first, I thought it was simply romantic. The Maldives, the honeymoon suite. A beautiful setting of a couple, celebrating their 17 years together. The more I thought about it, the more I realized, perhaps the ceremony wasn't really about the destination at all. It was about everything that happened before they got there. Because nobody gets to 17 years of marriage without facing an unexpected difficulty here, a setback there, something they didn’t see coming yet they had to adapt to. There were misunderstandings, words spoken, which shouldn’t have been, and unsaid thoughts, which were left unspoken. Mistakes. Disappointments. And despite the distractions of life, two imperfect people learned how to live beside each other’s imperfections. Which is why there is something incredibly powerful about standing beside the same person, 17 years later, and saying: “I choose you again.” Not because the past was perfect, rather because it wasn't. You look back at everything that brought you there; the beautiful moments and the difficult ones, and then you turn toward the person beside you and choose the next chapter. There is forgiveness in that, gratitude as well. There is romance, and confidence. I guess there is something even deeper: The willingness to let some things remain in the past. Where you may want ti drop all the baggage, and stop keeping scores. Look at the person you’ve known for a good amount of time and instead of seeing what you already know about them, see them again. Carefully. You may notice a person little wiser, older, and still yours. That is what moved me about Chris and Janet. They weren't celebrating that their marriage had been perfect. They were celebrating that, through everything life had put in their path, they had arrived at the same place. Still choosing each other. And suddenly, I found myself imagining something. That altar. Not theirs. Mine. I have decided, to renew my vows with Aliyah. I don’t have to wait to go to the Maldives or wait another 10 years to do it. If she agrees, it is going to be Vegas. So, who, when, and where are you going to take to the Altar. Until tomorrow, Bob
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