Chase Less. Live More.
A friend once took me to a spiritual class. The subject that day was something rather large: The purpose of life. I expected it to be something complicated. Instead, the teacher said something remarkably simple. The purpose of life, he suggested, is the pursuit of happiness. That part isn't particularly surprising. Most of us would probably agree. The interesting part came next. Happiness maybe universal. But what makes us happy is deeply personal. And that changes everything. Because if happiness is the destination, we still have to answer, a rather an important question: What does happiness actually mean to me? For one person, it may be building a successful career, while for another it may be having enough time to sit at the kitchen table with the people they love. For another, it may be having enough time to sit at the kitchen table with the people they love. Someone else may feel happiest creating something. Travelling, learning, gardening, helping people, being around friends, raising a family, or simply having a quiet morning with nowhere to be. There is no universal answer yet somehow, we often live as though there is. And yet, somehow, we often live as though there is. We see what other people value, what society calls success, what gets admired, rewarded and celebrated. We hear what society calls success. We notice what gets admired, rewarded and celebrated. And, almost without realizing it, we begin pursuing things like a bigger house, an impressive career, more achievements, more recognition… and of course more money. Because they look like the ingredients of a good life. More money. More recognition. A bigger house. A busier calendar. A more impressive career. More achievements. None of these things are necessarily wrong. The question is much simpler: Which one is yours? I remember thinking about this after that class. Whenever I am doing something I genuinely enjoy, something interesting happens. I don't just enjoy it. I tend to become better at it with more energy, curiosity, and patience. There is more energy. More curiosity. More patience. I am willing to stay with a problem longer, and I have almost always seen better results. More willingness to stay with the problem. And, almost always sees better results. It made me wonder whether we sometimes have the order backwards. Perhaps we spend too much time asking: “What will make me successful?” When the important question might be: “What kind of life would make me feel most like myself?” Can they overlap? Sure. Will they overlap? Not always. The two can overlap. Sure. But they may not always. And knowing the difference may be one of the most useful pieces of self-knowledge we can have. Because once you know what genuinely matters to you, you begin to recognize what deserves more of your time, and what doesn’t. Thus, some decisions become surprisingly easy. You begin to recognize what deserves more of your time. And perhaps, just as importantly, what doesn't. You become a little less interested in living somebody else's version of a good life, you become more interested in building your own. There is another part of this that I find beautiful. Much of what makes us happy isn't actually a thing. It could be a person, or a conversation, or some voice we are familiar with. A friend can makes you laugh in way, no one else can. Your parents' presence can still keep the inner child in you alive. It could be your partner, with whom an ordinary Tuesday feels special. I guess, this is why understanding our own happiness matters so much. Because when we know what makes life meaningful to us, we also begin to recognize who makes that life meaningful. So, I ask you, do you know yourself well enough to have the happiest life? Until tomorrow, Bob
Join the conversation